[F]

 

FALL OVER: (He's no fun...)
  • A common phrase occurring throughout FT plays is "(s)He's no fun, (s)he fell right over". This is tied indirectly to FUDD'S LAW: If you push something hard enough it will fall over. NANCY is a real push-over. See also TESLACLE'S DEVIANT and BOZO. Lots of people fall over in FT plays, presumably in obedience to FUDD'S LAW. Among them, BABE in the TWO PLACES play,NANCY fell over in an episode of NICK DANGER, Third-eye,and Edmund's Nuncle fell over in the play "Waiting for the Count of Monte Cristo (or someone like Him," in the NOT INSANE album ("What,what,Dead drunk ... NAY DEAD!"). The Nick Danger reference is particularly dizzying, as the following transcript shows:

    • NANCY: [DIZZY] The whole world is spinning! NICK: That's lucky for us! If it were flat, all the Chinese would fall off!
    [SOUND OF NANCY FALLING]
    NICK: She's no fun, she fell right over. Wait a minute...didn't I say that on the other side of the record. Where am I? I better check...
    [PORTION OF OTHER SIDE OF RECORD PLAYED BACKWARDS]
    NICK: Oh, it's OK, they're speaking Chinese..
    -- Note: the "Chinese" are on the other side of a *flat* vinyl record, which is spinning!

  • This phrase was quoted recently by the character Dr. Venckman on the cartoon version of "The Real Ghostbusters", in the episode titled, 'My Uncle Harold'. In BOZO we hear, "Animals without backbones hid from each other, or fell down."

 

Fiddlers:
  • A rare affliction that effects some in Billville, and why the Mayer can't pick up the phone. [Boom Dot Bust]

 

Fiddler's Edge:

 

FIREHEAD:
  • A Firesign-Theatre Fan.

 

FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN:
  • BOZOS, BOOGIES, BEANERS, ZIPS and BERZERKERS. The FT's BBOP book describes them all as follows:

    • The five lifestyles of man in the future are, starting from top to bottom, though it's circular:

    First the BERZERKER. Clue to a Berserker: Anybody who's got a gun.Anybody in a lime-green car with eight-foot tires, called Demon or Barracuda. Any Army officer, anybody in uniform. A Bobby is not a Berserker. But maybe he is because he carries his job, his badge. Most people who have jobs. There's a Berserker aspect to all of us. You can play softball with a Berserker. A Berserker doesn't always have to kill, but in the back of his mind, it's not a bad idea.

    Under the Berserkers are the ZIPS. The archetypal Zip is the 1930's guy with the thin moustache. Zips have always been concerned with hair. We're exhibiting Zip tendencies in having rather fancily cut moustaches. We're all prone to these various aspects. There's a Zip in everyone's kip, is the World War One English expression. Zips love new products. Zips are often found inside new headphones. They've got zip, pep. Zzzzzip! Zip me up! Most actors are Zips. There's a category called Hip Zip, which David invented yesterday.

    B.O.Z.O. is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others. Bozos are people who band together for fun and profit. They have no jobs. Anybody who goes on a tour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street? Because there's a Bozo on the other side. It comes from the phrase *vosotros*, meaning others. They're the huge, fat, middle waist. The archetype is an Irish drunk clown with red hair and nose, and pale skin. Fields, William Bendix. Everybody tends to drift towards Bozoness. It has Oz in it. They mean well. They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable shoes. They like their comforts. The Bozos have learned to enjoy their free time, which is all the time.

    (###"*vos otros*" is a multilevel pun on the spanish noun, *bosotros*, meaning clowns, "the 'b' and the 'v' being the same" -- ed.)

    Now, the BOOGIES. You see a bunch of Boogies around you. That's our lifestyle. There are more spades in this class than any other. But the world is changing. There are now getting to be a lot of spade Zips. And spade Bozos. Boogies don't differentiate between grass and alcohol. People who work in post offices are generally Boogies. They take it easy. They don't Zip. They're not Bozos because they don't clone. They boogie around rather than hanging around one another. They Boogie.

    The other class is the BEANERS. The Beaners live outside the Law of Gravity. They have more color television sets than anybody in the world. They're always appearing either on or with you color TV. They watch themselves on color TV. Beaners are very concerned with their own refuse, which they leave piled up around their house, but always in use. They're always going to use it. Hundreds of old pickup trucks. All Indians are Beaners. They don't care. Why should they? Beaners can't tell lies. They fear no one. "Don't point your finger at me Daddy-o, I cut it off!" Pico and Alvarado are Beaners. We love the Beaners.

    Most youth is Bozo-like now [early 70's]. That's why people get so upset when Berzerkers come into a Bozo gathering. 'Cause Bozos never do anything to anybody. Bozos keep having rock festivals. They create marijuana free-areas. Grass has moved into Bozodom.

    The Berserkers and Zips run things now. Why does a Zip pay taxes? Because he likes to fill out the forms. Berserkers run things by telling you the Beaners are going to get you. Those desperate Beaners may strike at any time! All politicians are Berserkers.

    Update for the 90's: During the late 70's the youth began drifting into ZIPness, with the disco-era, and the general populace, in definite BERZERKER mode,began the Reagan years.... The use by former PRESIDENT George Bush, referring to some other politicians as "Bozos" may not have been influenced by the FT, but it might as well have been. Bush himself, like most politicians,was a BERZERKER. Clinton has been showing definite BOZO tendencies in the way that he CLONES, BOOGIEness with his non-inhaling experiments,ZIPness with Cristophe, but to date only a few BERZERKER tendencies... But remember: it's all cyclical!

 

Fourth of Julee:
  • A centennial celebration (Fourth of Julee) in Billville. [Boom Dot Bust]

 

FOUR COWBOYS OF THE APOCALYPSE:
  • The Rock Band that is always followed by Hail as big as eyeballs. Taken from The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse: Death, War, Famine, and Pestilence. [GMIOGMD]

 

Flat Tax Two:
  • The plump, billion-buck hyper-blimp. A contestant in Race Around America (reference to Political want-a-be Steve Forbes). [Boom Dot Bust]

 

FLOTSAM JETSAM:

 

FOLEY:
  • Sound Effects Techniques. See SFX.

 

FOOD (Let's Eat!):
  • Here are just some of the many foodstuffs discussed in Firesign Theatre lore:

  • Nick's Swell PIZZA with no ANCHOVIES
  • A mighty HOT DOG is our lord!
  • Silverberg won't go over Pork Chop Hill
  • HAMBURGER All over the highway in Mystic Conn.
  • Louie's Wipe Out Pumice Hamburgers
  • GROAT CAKES (Heavy on the 30-weight Mom!)
  • GROAT CLUSTERS
  • CHEESE LOGS
  • CORN ! Now we can make tortillas/whisky !
  • OIL BEER - used in MOTOR FLUID GIMLETs
  • EGGS Let's just call them, the "PHENOMENA".
  • {BEAR-WHIZ BEER}
  • BLUE MOSS Now you too can be an alien!
  • RAT IN A BOX Guts in a Cup! (Yum!) Mouse on a Stick (Wow!)
  • French-Fried Fleas and Beer-battered Ticks Squirrel Squares from Road-Ready Flatsnax
  • LOOSTNERS Caster-oil flakes
  • OCTOBER BLIND The Duck-flavored coffee!
  • ERSATZ BROTHERS COFFEE The real one!
  • PICKLES
  • CRACKERBACK JOX
  • More SUGAR !
  • Arnie's Whole Beef Halves (We deliver everywhere):
  • Admirable Bird's Deep Fried Chicken Fingers Mrs. Smith's Deep Disk Sheep Dip Cherry Stone Pies How about some of that old Phillipino Creamy (coming in shorts & quarts)? Tubs of Slaw (sorry only one tub per family)
  • Ma Rainie's MOLESKIN COOKIES
  • Sleepy Joes at House of Bad Brains de Chicanos from Outer Space Red beans and reds!
  • P.J. Probe wines - with Weal Meat Favor
  • Billy Jack Dog Food ("Us old folks like it, too!")
  • CLAM CAKES, unless they get too damp.
  • The nicest PECARRY PIE in all of Lompoc.
  • "Beans...last of the Beans." "I'm so sick of Chinese Food!"
  • EDIBLE STEERING COLUMNS
  • Pignuts Oil Beer Coke ("I understand it comes in bottles in this country.")
  • Uncle Siggy's Peruvian Cocoa Powder One fancy ale ("comin' up......he forgot the glass!")
  • A taste of fabulous YUCATAN BLUE.
  • Laughing Cow Cheese
  • Maraschino Cherries Mescaline
  • What about the varied menu at Vince Ptomaine's Leg of the Crow Restaurant?
  • And who can forget the bite-sized individually wrapped portions of genuine meat, as advertised by Kim Clock?

 

FOUR OR FIVE CRAZY GUYS:
  • The Firesign Theatre. The "Fifth" reference is generally for all those "extra" helpers.

 

FRESH PORK:
  • "US Plus, It's like walking on a cloud of Fresh Pork!" [GMIOGMD]

 

FUDD'S LAW:
  • "If You Push Something Hard Enough, It Will FALL OVER". A Law Enunciated by the FT in the WALL OF SCIENCE segment of ITWABOTB. The full name is "Fudd's First Law of Opposition", and was enunciated by Sir Sidney Fudd. Here are some other FT Rules, with references:

  1. If you give the people a light, they'll follow it anywhere. POOP
  2. If you push something hard enough, it'll fall over. ITWABOTB
  3. If you dig a deep enough hole, everybody'll want to jump into it. EYKIW.

 

FT, FST:
  • Abbreviations for The Firesign Theatre.

 

FUTURE FAIR:
  • From BOZOS -- The FUTURE FAIR was an amusement park which looked fondly back to the future. (The movie title "Back to the Future" may have been influence by this). "A fair for all and no fare for anybody!" The motivations for this fair are numerous: the 1933 Chicago Worlds Fair, with its "Hall of Science" (see WALL OF SCIENCE), and the 1939 World of Tomorrow Worlds Fair in New York, with its "Futurama" display.

 

FTAEBGB (Faster, Further...):
  • (Faster,Further) Than Anyone's Ever Been Gone Before! Lots of people are always breaking the limits in FT plays. In HEMLOCK STONES Sumatran RAT episode, after installing the ZEPPELIN TUBE into their yacht, Violet Dudley, says, "Whoo! that's faster than anyone's ever been gone before! For example, in NICK DANGER, "Cut 'Em Off At the Past" episode, we hear:

    CATHERWOOD: "I'll be gone for thousand years!"
    NANCY: "Gee, that's longer than anyone's ever been gone before."
    CATHERWOOD: "But to you it will seem only a moment. Very well, my dear: Forward Into The Past!"
    NANCY: "I hope he gets back before all this dry ice melts."